If you’ve ever Googled “relationship tips,” you know the drill. Every article drones on about how “communication is key” — as if saying we need to talk has magically solved anything in the history of romance. Don’t get me wrong, communication is great, but if that was the whole story, you wouldn’t be here looking for something better, would you?
The truth is, relationships — whether you’re dating, in a situationship, or already a few years deep into domestic bliss — are messy, nuanced, and full of weird little habits you don’t notice until someone else points them out. And if you’re in your 20s or 30s, it can feel even more confusing. You want to grow as a person, but you’re also busy enough just trying to keep your own life together without becoming someone’s emotional support animal.
So here’s the good news: you can improve your relationship without turning into one of those painfully earnest self-help zombies. Below are five practical, funny-but-true relationship tips that don’t involve sitting down for a TED Talk with your partner every night. Because you deserve better advice — and a little less eye-rolling.
Tip 1: Stop Keeping Score (You’re Not in a Competition)
One of the quickest ways to tank even a good relationship is to treat it like a running tally. “Well, I did the dishes three times this week and you only texted me first once” — sound familiar? Yeah. Keeping mental score is exhausting for you and toxic for them. Relationships aren’t 50/50 every day; they’re more like 80/20 sometimes and 30/70 others. That’s okay. The goal isn’t to always be “even,” it’s to both feel like you’re on the same team. When you stop counting and start appreciating, you create space for actual connection instead of a passive-aggressive audit.
Tip 2: Learn Each Other’s “Weird” Love Languages
Everyone thinks they know about love languages: words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, gifts, acts of service. Cute in theory. But in reality, most people’s “love language” looks weird in practice. Maybe yours is sending cursed memes at 2 a.m., and theirs is keeping your car full of gas without telling you. Pay attention to the little, unique ways you and your partner show care — and speak it back to them in their dialect, even if it’s not how you’d naturally express it. Relationships thrive when you stop expecting your partner to love you your way and start noticing how they already do.
Tip 3: Fight Smarter, Not Louder
Look, fights happen. Anyone who says otherwise is lying or dead inside. But here’s the trick: stop trying to “win.” There is no medal for proving your point harder, and yelling louder doesn’t make your feelings more valid. Instead, fight smarter. Take a break if it’s getting heated. Repeat what they said so they know you heard. Start with “When you… I feel…” instead of “You always…”. If you’re mad about something tiny but it’s really about something bigger, just say that. Arguments are inevitable, but damage is optional.
Tip 4: Keep Your Own Damn Hobbies
This one’s huge. No matter how much you love someone, you still need your own identity. Your partner is not your entire personality. Go hang out with your friends without them. Take that dance class. Spend Saturday binge-watching reality TV alone if you want to. The best relationships happen when two whole people choose to be together — not when two half-people fuse into some codependent blob. Trust me: having your own life outside of each other makes being together way more interesting.
Tip 5: Laugh at the Stupid Stuff
At the end of the day, life — and love — is mostly stupid little moments strung together. The inside jokes, the silly arguments over pizza toppings, the weird way they mispronounce “almond.” These are the moments that matter. Don’t take every bump in the road as a crisis. Learn to laugh when things get awkward or imperfect. You’re two flawed humans just trying your best, and sometimes the best thing you can do is laugh about how bad you are at being perfect together.
Relationships don’t come with a manual, and they’re not something you can just “fix” overnight. But they can get better, little by little, when you’re intentional and kind — and yes, a little sarcastic about the whole thing.
So the next time you find yourself searching for relationship tips, skip the cliché advice and remember: stop keeping score, embrace their weird love language, fight smarter, keep your own hobbies, and laugh more. You might just surprise yourself at how much closer it brings you.
And hey — if you want more sarcastic-but-helpful advice on getting your life together (in love and everything else), download the Chaotter checklist today. It’s just $19, cheaper than therapy, and way cuter.